Two Out of Three Ain't Bad
by sweetdonalbain81507
Summary: An Into the Woods story. Really, she was perfectly content with her lot in life, though she knew that some would not be. Rated for one itsy bitsy little word.


**Disclaimer: 'Kay, I'm not sure that anyone reads "Into the Woods" fics anyway, so this is more of a labor of love than any possible way to make money. Meaning that it probably wouldn't be worth it to claim to own anything.** **So no, I don't own anything. Not even the title. That would be Meatloaf's.**

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"Wishes may bring problems, such that you regret them...better that, though, than to never get them."

Some would have been disappointed with her lot.

Some, no doubt, expected her to be disappointed. They expected outbursts, crying about how it _just wasn't fair_, plots of regicide (or whatever the princessly equivalent was). They offered to try to "make things better" through bizarre concoctions, either for the Princess or for her ladies-in-waiting (of course, the difference in the intended user changed the outcome of said bizarre concoction). She was _almost_ offended that people expected her to resort to murder...almost, but not quite. After all, if it got the job done...but she was unaware of a job that needed doing.

Perhaps the situation was slightly less than ideal, but only slightly. Her..._their_ rank had increased dramatically. They were _almost_ respected now...almost, but not quite. The ladies at court claimed-always behind closed doors, of course-that the once feisty triumvirate had lost all pride and dignity, reduced to a mere trio of simpering puppies. If they could only see...they had always been simpering puppies. Had anyone ever even _liked_ the Prince...at all? She was not entirely sure (after all, he and she _seemed_ to do well together...emphasis on _seemed_), but she could certainly be able to answer for herself and her daughters with a resounding "NO!" Did it matter? That answer was even more obvious...though the same.

All of them were complaisant little whores, saying exactly what everyone wanted to hear, hiding their hearts with their smiling, painted faces. Anyone who was anyone played the humble servant...ironic that, in the end, the _actual_ humble servant would win the game, by acting like _someone_.

Which brought her back to her original point: nothing had changed, except for the better. They were the same as ever, just in a much grander home, with lovelier clothes, and of a higher class. Of course, there was that tiny setback, but again, whatever got the job done. And the two of them understood that they were far better off; she had taught them well.

Sometimes she was really amazed at how perfect it was. It had been so easy; they could have actually stayed home all three nights. They certainly had not needed to run that one night...although missing the strange man with the hair fetish would not have been terrible. The slightly drastic actions that she had taken to ensure their future had turned out not to be necessary anyway. She _almost_ felt bad for what she had done...almost, but not quite. It had been the smart thing to do; perhaps not the good or nice thing, but since when was the good or nice thing the smart thing? Since when did "nice" mean anything in the world? Since when did "good" people win out in the end?

One thing that she was not was surprised by the eventual outcome, by her stepdaughter's decision. Any logical person would have put the three to death, but she was so _nice_; she just could not do it. She had probably not even considered it; she believed in unity, and love, and togetherness, and that everyone had a spark of good in them. Maybe it was true. Good, though, could not keep things from being foolish. In fact, good, or perhaps just niceness, was what kept people foolish. If there were no nice people in the world, the practical ones would die out.

So she played the grateful servant and lied through her teeth, saying, along with the girls whom she had taught so well, "I never thought I'd be so much I hadn't been."

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**A/N: Well, that was fun, if short. Hopefully you all caught on to who "she" was, right? **

**The idea came to me when I was watching my super cool Original Broadway Cast DVD thing of this. The stepmother and stepsisters had just flounced (or stumbled, depending) in, and were saying, "We're so happy/You're so happy/Just as long as you stay happy/We'll stay happy" and I realized that they actually looked like they meant it...so I wrote this. To the...I'm guessing...seventeen that will read this, please review!**


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